When is Too Much Sex, Too Much?

Listen to a podcast of this article HERE.

One of my blog readers asked me to expand on an earlier article, “How to Write a Sex Scene,” and today I’ll try and help her out. Her question entailed how much detail should one write into a sex scene. In my mind it’s up to the writer, but the answer varies according to writer’s target audience and the needs of the scene. Regardless, the reader’s imagination is the determining point.

Let’s look at the scene first. If you’re writing about raw sex, you might wish for more detail. Should you write about the power of love, you’d likely incorporate less. In the first case, you might include the feel of a woman’s wetness, whereas in the second you might offer nothing more than a bit of caressing as the two disappear behind a door. 

Think also about the scene’s perspective. Is it written from the eyes of an eighteen year-old male bully or from grandma’s? Imagine how the bully might envision sex in relation to how might your grandmother. (Sorry for that visual.)

Let’s now take a look at the target market. Imagine how “the first time” scene might change if you wrote about seventeen year olds, thirty-somethings or grandmothers. In the first, you might have a young boy’s initial experience which entails raw sex with much more physical and tactile detail. The second could be a woman’s first encounter since her oppressive divorce where the details revolve less on the physical than the emotional. Grandma’s first encounter since her husband died might have very little detail, (if you don’t mind…), and convey something like comfort or even betrayal. Each displays the same basic scene, but with wildly varying descriptions and need for detail. 

Here is how I feel about the subject in general. It’s all about the reader’s imagination. 

Consider this simple example of describing a woman’s eyes when writing this type of scene. 

     “As he grabbed her hair and pushed her down on him, her eyes grew wide as silver dollars.”

     “As he grabbed her hair and pulled her down on him, her eyes grew wide with excitement.”

Which of these lines creates the better vision to the reader? To me, everyone knows the size of a silver dollar and though the scene might be titillating, this simple detail reduces the reader’s option to use their imagination. In contrast, her eyes growing wide with excitement allows the readers to interpret how the character looked and thus makes the scene more personal to the reader. Now envision how involved a reader might be if a hundred details form in their mind, rather than on the page. This concept of appealing to the reader’s imagination applies regardless the level of detail. The more your reader employs their imagination, the more personal, more powerful the scene is to them.


I’m also all about the emotion of a scene. Consider a rape. Though the grabbing and thrusting it integral to the incident, if nothing else is described, the scene lacks much of its potential strength. However, if you write about how the woman emotionally responds to these actions, your writing will have much more impact.

To me, detail is dependent upon the scene and the audience. Use more of the reader’s imagination and fewer major details and I think you’ll write with more powerful imagery.

Now for some general tips.

A sex scene, as with all others, should maintain your writing style. Do you include every detail in every scene? Then continue in that vein. Do you skirt the large details for the small? Then carry on with that.


Highlight the tiny details. A man caressing the goose bumps on a woman’s thigh is more enticing than simply thrusting into her.

Think of your book writing more as an Impressionist painting than one from the realistic period.The Impressionists worked with blurs of color and motion, allowing the reader’s mind to see what they wanted to see. The viewer’s imagination filled in the gaps. In contrast, the Realists painted each and every detail, giving each as much power as the next. Though their work is amazing, you only see what they want you to see.

Color-code the emotions you write on the page. Some people use colored pencils or crayons, while others use their word processing text highlighter. It matters not, but here’s how it works. When you mention an emotion such as yearning, you might color it gray. Should you highlight that mood one gets when a couple cuddles after sharing sex, you could use gold.


After colorizing each emotion, make a flip-book of your pages and thumb through them. The colors that jump off the page will offer a strong insight as to the effectiveness of your writing and inform you if you’ve produced the type of article you wished. If your sex scene has a lot of black, for example, let’s hope it’s a rape. If the colors begin with cerulean, turn to yellow, shift to gold then orange and red, then back to blue, you’re probably on the mark for a love scene.


I read somewhere that “Details are the fingerprints of prose.” (Great line, don’t you think?) However, think of your details like spices. Too much salt or pepper and you’ll ruin the taste of the meal. So it is with your writing. Use your details sparingly so as not to overpower your reader.


When incorporating details, insure you employ your characters’, and thus your readers’, five senses. Have your character look at her nakedness, touch her skin and taste her lips. Have him hear her moan and smell her explosion. (And he’d damn well better see she has one.)

The general purpose of your novel is to transport your readers to another place and time. Would they rather go where they wanted or where you tell them. It’s all about the imagination.

It’s not about the sun, it’s about the warmth of the sun on one’s skin.

I do apologize for not offering specific instructions to leave in the erection and omit the sigh, but how much detail to write into a sex scene is up to the writer.


I wish you only best-sellers.

C. Patrick Schulze

Author of the emerging novel, “Born to be Brothers.”

8 Tips for Writing Compelling Imagery

In novel writing, the descriptions you create relative to setting can have a major impact on the power of your writing.

Many new authors write descriptions but often miss the concept of imagery altogether. Think of a description as a photograph, if you will. The average writer looks over the photo and writes the various things he sees. This is not necessarily the best way to convey what you wish your readers to envision. Here’s a typical description.

The construction of the building was of stone. It squatted on the wide field, surrounded by landscaping that suffered from neglect. The thin windows looked more like slits one might see in castles of old.

Instead, you might try to write in a way that incorporates the images you see into the action. For example the above description might be reworded as such:

He strode into the stone building and noted the poor quality of the landscape. Once inside, he wondered as to the purpose for the narrow windows which allowed little light to enter the rooms.

Paint your verbal pictures in nibbles more than great gulps of information. This means you should avoid writing descriptions of setting in long narratives. A rule, and we all know rules are created for us to break, says to put no more than two sentences together when describing your scene. Try not to fall into the trap where long descriptions will draw your reader’s attention from the main story.

Use your characters’ senses. The following example will demonstrate this concept.

Once inside, he noticed a soft clanging that drifted through the building. It sounded somewhat like someone hammered on bronze. He tiptoed farther in and noticed an odor waft up from beneath the floorboards. Old food, perhaps?

Pepper dialogue with imagery. That is to say you might consider allowing your characters to impart images of things happening when they speak.

“I can’t seem to stop these goose bumps from rising, no matter what I do.”

Use verbs that convey action. Words such as twirled, jumped, scurried or plotted show action by their very nature.

Use adverbs that convey action. An example might be a character’s shredded credit card. “Shredded” shows an action but is used to describe the noun. Another example is a groaning piece of equipment.

Use ordinary things in other than ordinary ways. For example, what about using an automobile to pull a tow truck or having a car chase a dog?

Think small. Have your characters take note of some of the smallest of details in your setting. Could you make use of the tiny nubs on the treads of a new tire? When might you point out the indentation at the bottom of a wine bottle? Can you imagine ever employing the scratches on a cell phone screen in your novel?

Do any of you have other examples as to how a novel writer might employ more compelling imagery? I’d appreciate your suggestions.

As always, I wish you best-sellers.

C. Patrick Schulze

Point of View Tips for the Fiction Writer

Last night I was working with my critique group and they stunned me with some of the errors they found still hidden within my novel, “Born to be Brothers.” Two, (count ‘em), of those errors were in Point of View, or as its know, POV. With last night’s lesson clear in my mind, I thought today’s post should encompass that great bugaboo, Point of View.

Let’s first try to understand what POV is. In a sound bite, it’s who is telling the story. Is a single character narrating what is going on, or are a number, or even all the characters, telling the reader what is happening? POV is nothing more than the writer’s method of determining which character is presenting the narrative.

See, it’s not all that mysterious.

As to the types of POV, there are four perspectives for telling your story, though some say there are five. Regardless, my focus will be with the three most common, and then primarily upon the Third Person, as it is the most common in fiction.

Know that each POV has its advantages, disadvantages and typical uses.

They three major types, with primary subdivisions are:

• First Person POV
• Second Person POV
• Third Person POV
o Limited
o Omniscient
o Objective

Keep in mind when you write, you’ll settle into the one or two POV’s that serves your storytelling and writing style. In fiction, the primary POV is Third Person.

Let’s define these POV’s.

• First Person POV

First Person POV has the writer, or narrator, personally telling the story. In effect, the narrator is speaking to his readers about what is transpiring and it can be told in either present or past POV. It is most often used when one is authoring a book about ones’ personal experiences or opinions. You’ll see the writer using the common pronouns of I, me, my, mine, we, our and ours. It can fit into fiction, but is widely used in memoirs.

An example sentence is:

As I looked at Jill, I knew she was upset.

• Second Person POV

Think of this as how to write an instruction manual and extensive use of the word, “you.” This POV is rarely used in fiction as it simply tells the reader what the characters are doing and what they see.

It is an awkward way to write with limited access to creativity. However, it does grab the reader’s attention. It can also exist in past and present forms.

An example sentence is:

You, Jill, will then purse your lips and furrow your brow.

• Third Person POV has three subtypes and we’ll discover each on its own.

o Third Person - Omniscient POV

Third Person Omniscient POV is having all the major characters in your novel telling the story.

What is nice about this POV is the freedom it affords. The author can tell the reader what everyone’s motivations are and what it is they are thinking. It allows the writer to give or withhold information at will.

The difficulties lie in lack of control and its potentially cumbersome nature. If you are not careful, by showing what inside every character’s head, the reader receives too much information and can become frustrated as your POV loses cohesion.

You overcome this issue by consistency in your POV and have only one person telling the story at a time. Also, eliminate any information that is not pertinent to the story. Have each chapter focus on one individual will help eliminate “head-hopping,” or jumping from one character’s POV to another within chapters.

Your example:

Jack wondered what Jill was thinking while Jill knew quite well what thoughts rattled around Jack’s mind. Bill was surprised by what Jill was thinking.

See how this can get out of hand?

o Third Person - Limited POV

Third Person Limited POV is perhaps the easiest to utilize and most popular when writing novels. Here the author writes from a single person’s vision throughout the entire book. In third person POV, you’ll see pronouns such as she, he, her, him, hers, his, it, its, they, them, theirs.

The disadvantages come with the writer’s limitation as to who sees what. The character telling the story cannot get into the head of another to read his thoughts. He can only surmise what the other guy is thinking by that person’s facial expression, actions and such. It’s also very easy to shift out of this POV.

Your example:

Jak understood Jill’s irritation, for her pursed lips and furrowed brow told him everything he needed to know.

o Third Person Objective POV

In this POV, the author only tells his readers what happens by way of action or dialogue. Their characters’ feelings or thoughts are never revealed. It’s not the most effective POV for fiction.

Your example is:

Jack watched Jill furrow her brow and pinch her face.

When it’s broken down into the types that fit your writing genre, it doesn’t seem quite so overwhelming, does it?

The secret to POV is to learn what type works well for your writing style and the types of stories you tell. These factors will drive your POV. Focus on the one or two you need and let the rest go for now.

I hope this has helped a bit, and I wish you only best-sellers.

C. Patrick Schulze

Word Count Parameters

There’s a long list of diatribes as to the length of various types of writing, and everyone seems to disagree with everyone else. What’s a writer to do?

The reality is, people don’t read what YOU want, they read what THEY want. A second grader won’t read a two hundred thousand word tome, and there is nothing you can do about it. If you’re writing romance, nobody will pick up your thirty-seven page booklet. Ain’t gonna happen, bucko!

If you work is too long for your market, it probably needs to broken into two books and you’ve got a ton of unnecessary words. Yes, there are exceptions, but get over it, you are not The One. If it’s too short in length, you probably don’t have a story hidden in there. The lesson is, of course, writing to your market. What will they buy? Write that.

Now, what is the correct length for each type of genre? As mentioned, there is a wide range of answers but according to The Guide to Literary Agents, here are you limits.

Adult novels :

80,000 to 90,000 words is your word count.
110,000 is your upper limit.
70,000 is your lower limit.

Sci-Fi and Fantasy

100,000 to 115,000 is your target word count.
125,000 is your upper limit.
90,000 is your lower limit.

Middle Grade

Upper middle grade or “tweens”,

32,000 – 40,000 is your target word count.

Lower middle grade

20,000 to 30,000 is your target word count.

The Guide did not offer upper and lower limits in these categories so stay within these bounds.

YA (Young Adult)

55,000 – 69,000 is your target word count.
80,000 is your upper limit.
47,000 is your lower limit.

Remember, agents receive thousands of manuscripts a year, but only need a few dozen. They are looking for a reason to say, “No.” Don’t give them that reason. Color within the lines until after you have sold those million copies.

Best of luck.

C. Patrick Schulze
Author of "Born to be Brothers"

Twitter.com/CPatrickSchulze

Writing Forward

I attended the September meeting of the James River Writers and wanted to pass along some of the insights and information I garnered there. The writers’ group held their usual speaker panel which included three published fiction authors, Ms. Carolyn Parkhurst, (The Dogs of Babel, Lost and Found),Ms. Leslie Pietrzyk, (Pears on a Willow Tree, A Year and a Day), and Ms. Susann Cokal, (Mirabilis, Breath and Bones.)

One interesting recommendation that came to light I had instinctively followed, but hadn’t quite put into words. The idea was to Write Forward. All three speakers agreed great books are often allowed to develop this way. Basically, it means to give your story permission to write itself – allow the story to be part of the process.

As I recall, each writer went into a project with nothing more than a rough idea of how the story might develop and with little more than a basic concept of the ending. They typically had little more than an idea of the characters they would create, a rudimentary central theme they wished developed and a sense of the ending. With this, they would begin writing and see how their imaginations would allow the story to develop.

They didn’t have each and every chapter outlined, there were no storyboards or index cards taped to the wall in chronological order, there was nothing of that ilk. They sat down, started writing and waited for that wondrous muse we call “Story” to fly from their fingertips and onto their computer screens - almost by itself.

An example Ms. Parkhurst gave was a sugar bowl with a note in it. She had no idea of where or how the crockery would come into play, she simply felt it belonged in the story. As with the concept of Writing Forward, it found its way into the storyline of its own accord.

Personally, I do about the same, though I usually have only one character in mind. I think I know how the story is going to end and I start with little else. By the time I get to “The End”, the character is still there, but the ending has morphed into something much better than I’d imagined when I started. As I write, I “feel” where I have to go and then figure out how to get there. A recent example in my new novel, “Born to be Brothers” is a pocket watch. The story is set in the mid-nineteenth century when pocket watches were the norm. I understand how men feel their individual timepieces are a representation of themselves and knew I needed a watch to help fill in the story. So, as the story fell onto the page, I kept the watch in the back of my mind. When it needed to show up, it did. And when it did, it changed the entire story.

So, when you sit down to write, many writers find it useful not to have the story too complete from the start. Allow your creativity to write your story, and don’t be afraid to let loose of the intuition within you. I’ll bet your writing will be a better for it.

Until we post again, good writing.

Patrick

How to Find Representation after Self-Publishing

This question was recently asked of me, “any suggestions for new writers looking for representation after self-publishing? Finding representation is hard!”

Her last four words put the entire process in perspective. It is difficult and is not getting any easier. I was at a writers’ seminar last night where three outstanding, published women were on the panel of speakers. They told of their initial forays into the agented world and two of the three told a story of serendipity. Not where I wish to place my future, to be honest. After their initial and fortunate encounter with agentry, (hey! A new word!) it was easy, as you might expect.

Another of the speakers, with an insider’s connections, mentioned the NY times receives around seven hundred fifty submissions for reviews on a weekly basic, of which maybe fifteen or so would be accepted. Tough competition, indeed! I don’t remember the source, but an article I read the other day says there are about one million manuscripts submitted to the industry for publication annually. About fifteen percent are actually published.

What these examples show is competition for publication is not only tough, but fierce. Our individual chances of being published are minuscule, at best.

This compels one to ask, how is agentry, (there’s that word!), ever accomplished.

There are some basics in the industry that cannot be avoided. For example, if you’re famous, your odds increase exponentially. Alas, most of us are not. If you’ve already produced a highly successful work, again, your odds increase in geometric fashion. Alas, most of us have not.

So, what choices do we have?

First and foremost, learn the craft of writing. Learn it well. Without this, you’ll never sell. Immerse yourself as much as reasonable possible in the writers’ world. (Join groups and surround yourself with those more accomplished, continue writing, read other works in your genre, etc, etc, etc.) And as important as all else, learn the business of writing.

Secondly, one may self-publish. The stigma of this is quickly diminishing, but without knowing the business of writing, it will not lead to sales.

Now, to the first part of her question, how does one find representation after self-publishing?

Well, it is my understanding, it makes things more difficult.

Some years, yes – years, after writing my first manuscript, an agent to whom I had submitted the book called out of the blue. During the course of what was to me an exciting conversation, I mentioned I had finally self-published the novel we were discussing. Before the sentence was out of my mouth, his attitude shifted from interest to disinterest. I asked him why the sudden lack of curiosity and he mentioned once a book has a UPC code, it’s DOA as to publishers. It just created issues, he said. These issues went undefined because I didn’t think to ask. Lesson learned.

So, if you have a self-published novel, don’t mention it to people. Though the stigma of POD is diminishing, attitudes with some hold fast for a long time.

Since then, I’ve decided what I will do with that first novel should I ever be picked up for representation on something else. I’d first, rename it then rewrite it. I’d not change the entire manuscript, but rename characters, change some events in the story line, that sort of thing. I’d also rename the book. Then, I’d resubmit.

Further, I’d not tell anyone, who doesn’t ask, I’d rewritten my manuscript. Keep in mind I don’t encourage dishonesty with agents as they are your partner, but I simply would not answer questions that were not asked. Besides, once you’re successful, they’ll tell you to do this anyway for it translates to more sales for you, and thus commissions for them.

So, assuming you have a viable manuscript, I’d recommend you rewrite, rename and try it again.

Now for some good news.

The publishing industry is changing at breakneck speed and yesterday’s publisher is losing his control over distribution, which was his only real trump card. The Internet, POD, social networking and the like are opening the distribution channels to anyone who understand the BUSINESS of writing. (Was that enough emphasis?)

In the very near future you, as a writer, will not need representation. You’ll need a publicist, a production partner, a distribution partner and a good editor. As a writer, these people will work, as independent contractors, for you and respond to you rather than the other way around. Oh yeah… you’ll also keep a MUCH larger portion of the profits.

Best of luck to you all.

Patrick

Author of “Born to be Brothers”
Twitter.com/CPatrickSchulze

Wife is Out of Town.

Katy, my lovely wife, is out of town on business until Friday.

She's worried I won't eat. I keep telling her nobody fed me between the time I left home at seventeen until we married some forty years later. I think I'll survive.

(Toast is a food group, right?)

Do miss her already, though.

The Answer to a Writing Secret

An answer no one has ever given before! Way to go, @NathanBransford.

Interesting Thoughts about the Pub Industry

Found this at @Quillp on Twitter.

I think they've nailed this one.

Times! They are a'changin'!

Hikin' Time!

Katy and I are filling up the ol' backpack to hike our rear ends off on the Spottsylvania Battlefield. Great fun is to be had by the whole two of us.

Also, the trip is tax deductible as I write historical fiction! Woo-hoo!

Spy Story Using The Hero's Journey

Good day, Writers,

As promised, I am posting another storyline using The Hero's Journey as the model. This time we have a spy story outlined.

If you want to know, this took me no more than five minutes to construct. Which goes to prove how easily The Hero's Journey adapts to any story.

Ready? Here we go!


Ordinary World

A wealthy woman, Rachel, hears of her husband’s death while he was traveling home from Europe to the US. The Husband was an official on government business.

Call to Adventure

As the funeral ends and she receives visitors at her home, she notices a mysterious man standing outside watching the house.

Refusal of the Call

After the mourners leave, the man who was watching the house knocks on the door. The man, Jackson, introduces himself to the maid and hands her a letter. He asks if the maid will give it to Rachel and if Rachel will see him, even though the hour is late.

Meeting the Mentor

Rachel, enraged by the contents of the letter and not believing its authenticity, agrees to see him in an effort to determine why Jackson is attempting to upset her.

Crossing the Threshold

Jackson tells Rachel to check a hidden drawer in the house to prove the letter is genuine. She does and learns her visitor worked for her husband and that both men were spies working in an effort to overthrow the sitting government. Jackson informs Rachel her husband was murdered for his involvement in the spy ring and she agrees to join Jackson and use her wealth and influence to continue his work.

Test, Allies and Enemies

Jackson introduces Rachel to many of his cohorts and learns of many high ranking officials in the government who are attempting to start a war for the money they can earn.

Approach to the Innermost Cave (Point of No Return)

Rachel is found out by the authorities and must alter her life so as not to be caught. She must give up her home and fortunes in this endeavor.

The Supreme Ordeal

The corrupt government officials chase and eventually attack Rachel and Jackson, who have now become lovers. Rachel escapes, though Jackson is caught and taken somewhere sinister.

Claim the Treasure (Reward)

Rachel finds Jackson and helps him escape. Together they topple the corrupt officials just before war breaks out.

Journey Home (Road Back – Second Ordeal)

Those officials, now deposed, attempt to assassinate Jackson and Rachel and almost succeed.

Resurrection

The dishonest politicians are finally caught and tried.

Return with Elixir

Rachel has her home and fortunes returned and she and Jackson get married to live happily ever after.