When I completed writing my first manuscript, I sent my novel off to an editor so she could inform me just how many gracious platitudes I might receive from adoring novel lovers. As I’m certain you’ve already surmised, she utterly failed in her mission.
Though the manuscript contained more red ink that black when I received it, one specific note she made, and made, and made related to my use of the word, “that.” Beside the first such notation she indicated, and I paraphrase, the word can most often be eliminated from writing without losing any meaning or substance. Since then I’ve found we use the word so often in our everyday speaking it’s not even noticed. However, when I read it, that word jumps out to me these days.
I researched “Success with Words – A Guide to the American Language” for this blog post and, wow, did they go on and on about it. (And it published was by Readers’ Digest, of all people.) Regardless, for the sake of article length and purpose, suffice it to say the word is used as a pronoun, an adjective and a conjunctive.
Further, let’s stick with my editors’ suggestion, shall we? She offered a simple trick I still use to this day. She recommended I read the sentence aloud without the offending word and consider if it could be eliminated. If none of the meaning of the sentence is lost by this, it is unnecessary and I should cut it. Alas, I lost much of my word count during that exercise.
Let’s look at some examples.
“What’s the best way to get that accomplished?”
“What’s the best way to get accomplished?”
You see the sentence lacking the word loses something, doesn’t it? It doesn’t make sense. In this case, keep “that” in place. Another example follows.
“Organize your files so that you can find things with ease.”
“Organize your files so you can find things with ease.”
It’s obvious in this second example that the word is not necessary and may be eliminated, therefore, making the second sentence, and this one, of higher quality as it relates to writing.
The easiest method I’ve found is to perform this edit is to use the Find feature in your word processing program and go down the long list of things it spews forth. It won’t take as long as you think and once you’ve done this, it becomes second nature.
Now, there is a caveat I noted in “Success with Words” so I’ll pass it along. It said the word is often still acceptable in formal language. However, when was the last time you used formal language?
I personally tend to leave it in for certain characters in my novels’ dialogue. I now use it for the less educated of characters, whereas with my better educated ones I do not.
As you work through your edits, try this simple technique and I’ll bet you’ll be surprised just how well it improves your writing.
Until we meet again, I wish you only best-sellers.
C. Patrick Schulze
Showing posts with label sentences. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sentences. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
How to Increase the Pace of Your Writing
As you learn how to write a novel, you’ll find conflict is the key tool used to develop the readers’ interest. Today, I’ll talk about how to accelerate the pace of your words thus increasing the tension within your novel.
The first writing technique to consider is the amount of white space on the page. Imagine a sheet of paper filled with text, one line after the other without breaks. You can visualize how this would overpower to the reader. Think instead of a page loaded with choppy sentences. This creates a great deal of white space to the right and makes the page read faster. Your reader will feel the faster rhythm if for no reason other than the speed they flip the pages.
I alluded to the next tip in the last paragraph. Write in short, choppy sentences. These should be meaningful, of course, but quick lines make for quick reading. Quick reading makes for a fast tempo. Don’t try to break up long paragraphs with short sentences as it’ll come off as just that, poor paragraph structure. Each line, short or otherwise, must stand on its own.
Fragmentary sentences also work well to increase the speed of reading. The judicious use of them can be quite effective. In those nail-biting situations you create, fragments will increase the excitement. Always. Every time. As here. I urge caution, however, for overuse of fragments can get out of control if you’re not careful.
Use shorter words to increase the tempo of your story. Anything that slows your reader will slow the pace of your scene. For example, must you use the word, “unsympathetically?” These six syllables read slower than its synonym, “cruelly,” which has only two.
Be cautious of argot your middling might not twig. That is to say don’t use terminology your average reader might not understand. When you force them to take their mind off the story and focus on individual words, their reading slows in dramatic fashion.
Use strong, specific verbs and nouns. (How many times have we heard this one?) Consider someone who dreams in nightmares in contrast to someone who is haunted by nightmares. I think you can see the power in the word, “haunted” when compared to, “dreams.” As to verbs, consider the difference between someone who “falls” to someone who “collapses”. “Collapse” is a much stronger verb, assuming it fits the scene, as it implies a more precise action. This precision with your words is what you seek.
Don’t retell information. Just get to it. Your reader already knows what happened in prior chapters. To loop back to an earlier point in your story will simply slow things.
Use active voice. “He was going to fight it out,” reads slower and with less strength than, “He determined to fight it out.” You may wish to read my earlier post on the verb, “to be.”
Look to the pace of your novel and your audience will find it a more interesting read.
Might you have any tips to share?
As always, I wish you best-sellers.
C. Patrick Schulze
Labels:
active voice,
how to write a novel,
noun,
nouns,
sentence,
sentences,
the verb "to be",
verbs
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