How to Write Internal Monologue

by C. Patrick Schulze 

Listen to a PODCAST of this article.

Internal monologue, a character’s thoughts, is a tool by which you can improve your writing to a dramatic degree. Once you learn how to write internal monologue, you can infuse your novels with added dimensions of intrigue and emotion.

Despite its difference from spoken dialogue, internal monologue should conform to the basic tenants found within the craft of writing. By this I mean you should still show instead of tell, maintain the character’s voice, stay in Point of View and all the rest. You mustn’t think a character’s thoughts changes any of the basic “rules” within the craft of writing.

As I alluded to above, internal monologue is all about the character and his voice. Is your character the type of person who would express his thoughts in the way you indicate? And if so, do his thoughts fit his personality? Does he think the same way he would speak? Ensure his monologues match who he is.

Things you do NOT do with internal monologue:

Present the information before its time. When the reader needs to know it, then present it.

Employ thoughts as a substitute for conflict. Conflict and dialogue drive your story, not thoughts.

Things you DO with internal monologue:

Incorporate your monologues between your conflict. When the ship is about to sink is the time for your character to think about the home. Home has more significance if it’s wrapped around the conflict.

Pick your opportunities to utilize internal monologues with care. Your character should be in a situation that drives high emotions.

Choose those times to insert the monologue for when they’ll have the most affect.

Make sure your reader understands the character is done thinking. Nothing slows a novel like a readers who wonders, “Huh? What did I miss?”

Include details that touch the reader’s senses. After all, you want your reader to feel what is going on, right?

The classic opportunities to incorporate internal dialogue into your writing is when your character comes to a momentous decision, makes a startling discovery, sees a new opportunity or tries to hide his emotions.

How might you punctuate internal monologue?

If you use a word or phrase to replace the word, “said,” to show your character is thinking, you format like regular dialogue. Or you can simply italicize his thoughts. Both of the following examples are correct.

“But, I assumed I was right,” he thought.

But I assumed I was right, he thought.

The secret to internal dialogue? The best examples intrigue your reader. They make your reader feel compelled to read on and learn more.

Anyone care to share any tips they’ve learned about internal dialogue? I’d love to hear them.

Until we speak again, know I wish for you only best-sellers.

C. Patrick Schulze

Author of the emerging novel, “Born to be Brothers"

How to Clarify Your Novel Writing

by C. Patrick Schulze

Listen to the PODCAST of this article.

The essence of good writing is found not in the elegance of the writing but rather in the clarity of the writing. And clarity may have a purpose which you’ve not considered. Not only does it influence how those who read your novel understand and enjoy it, but clarity in writing can even have an effect upon your search engine rank. If your context and spelling are inadequate, your SEO may suffer. Who knew our seventh grade English teachers understood more than we realized?

Allow me to identify some of more onerous of the many clarity in writing issues.

The Dangling Particle: Remember that one from middle school English class? Until I began my research for this article, I could not remember what that thing was. A dp, as it’s known, occurs when an verb and noun are linked together in an incorrect manner. As you can see from the following example, there is no noun for the verb “run,” so it sounds as if that verb is associated with the rain.

     Trying to run the race, the rain began to fall in heavy sheets.

Incorrect Pronoun Reference: This can happen when a writer uses a pronoun to refer to another word but does make clear to which word, or antecedent, it relates. The example that follows is unclear as to whether the teenagers resented the store or loiters.

     The store prohibited loiters, which many teenagers resented.

A Comma Splice: This is when a writer connects two separate clauses with a comma. To fix this, you should insert a period or connect the clauses with a word such as “and” or “because.” You may also have to restructure both sentences. Your example of an incorrect splice follows.

     I fell in love with her, she carries herself with such grace.

Comma Usage in a Series: When you have three or more items in a series, you should use a comma between each one, even before the “and.” You may wish to note this differs in journalistic writing where they use one less comma. Your correct example:

     Bring the lantern, tent, and sleeping bag.

Tense Errors: This occurs when you do not indicate with clarity when an action took place. The example below is nebulous as to when the event actually happened, for we cannot tell if John left before Susanne arrived or when she arrived or even afterwards. To correct this you’d rewrite the sentence or insert the word, “had,” after, “John.”

     Susanne arrived, but John left.

Homonyms: Homonyms are words that sound alike but mean different things. The problem, of course, is your spellchecker won’t catch them. You have to read each word of your novel, aloud, to insure you catch these things. Here are your examples:

     Read vs. reed

     Write vs. right

     To vs. too

     Hear vs. here

Missing Words: As before, there’s not much you can do about this except read your novel aloud, word by word. Is this example correct or incorrect?

     Why do you say we to the moves this evening?

Alright vs All Right. There is no, “alright,” in formal writing, all right? Over time, the word “alright” has become acceptable in informal writing, but it is still considered incorrect in novel writing.

The Ellipsis: The ellipsis is that symbol made up of three periods in a row. In writing, it means words are missing and it’s most common usage is in quotes. It also represents a thought that is incomplete, a pause in speech, or a sentence that fades into silence. You should be cautious when you use it in your novel, however. Should you use this punctuation mark too often it soon overpowers the page and makes for difficult reading. Consider using character actions to indicate incomplete thoughts and statements, rather than the ellipse.


Today I’ll end with the famous “ie” vs “ei” issue. The rule we all learned in grammar class still holds true today. “I” before “e” except after “c.” Works every time, guys.

The clarity of your writing can be of utmost consequence to your writing success. The acceptance of your novel and even your search engine optimization may well hinge upon it. Do you need to spend some time and study your grammar once again?

So, what common writing errors do you find and how have you learned to overcome them?

Until we speak again, I wish for you only best-sellers.

C. Patrick Schulze

Author of the emerging novel, “Born to be Brothers”

How to Find Your Agent

by C. Patrick Schulze

To listen to a podcast of this article, click HERE.

Most of us understand the passage to shelf space at the major book retailers is best realized by way of agent representation. And whether a writer wishes to admit it or not, each of us at least fantasizes about seeing our titles on the stores’ shelves.

So, how does an author find an agent to offer representation? This isn’t so difficult, though it does take time and effort.

It goes without saying you first must have mastered the craft of writing, with all that entails, and have that well-written book or novel completed. After all, an agent can’t ask to represent you unless you have a quality product they can sell for you. However, once you’ve traversed that long, arduous path of writing, it’s time to look for your agent.

A first priority is found in your professionalism. Few louts will ever receive an offer. Think of it from the agent’s perspective. Would you rather work with an idiot or a professional? So would they.

Next, you need to take the time to focus on the right kind of agents. Take careful aim at those suitable agents who might offer you the best chance of representation. The shotgun approach, that is querying every agent that might still live and breathe, will only waste your time, ego and money, not to mention the time and money of the various agents. Your purpose is to identify those agents who are most suitable to your novel or book, those who represent your genre. 

Here are some tips on how to find the right agents.

If you’re unpublished to date, a great way to find your agent is at writers’ conferences. (Check out James River Writers for a great one in central Virginia, USA.) Focus on those agents who represent your genre and those with whom you’re a match on a personal level. Don’t forgo the personality match. It’s kind of like getting married to the wrong person.

There are any number of literary publications that can point you toward that perfect agent. They include, Writer’s Market, Literary Marketplace, Publisher’s Weekly, Writer’s Digest Magazine and the current Guide to Literary Agents. Pick up or check out these and other literary sources at your local library. All of these publications can assist you to identify those agents who might be interested in your novel.

Review books of those authors who write in your genre, then read the acknowledgment section. Quite often a novelist will mention their agent in this part of their novel. Those identified are, without question, agents who accepts your genre.

The Internet is loaded with sites to help you find that one agent you need. Consider Agent Query, or The Society of Authors’ Representatives . Google “literary agents” and see what else you might find.

Network with other writers. Join a local writers’ group or two and become active in those groups. Being active is the secret to become known within these organizations. The membership should include a number of published authors and after they get to know you, they may be willing to introduce you to their agents.

Join one or more of the hundreds of national and international writers’ associations such as Poets and Writers, National Association of Women’s Writers or The Association of Writers & Writing Programs. Take the time to insure the groups you join are useful to you. Again, after they get to know you and your work, these members may be willing to pass your name along to their agents.

In time, you’ll have a list of potential agents developed. Once you do, organize it according to those who best suit your needs. If you’re an aspiring author, the secret is being honest with yourself. Look first to those who don’t represent the biggest names in the business. Try to find those agents with a bit of experience, but who still seek new authors to represent within your genre.

Once your list is complete and organized, it’s time to query. After that, it’s time to wait. On them, not on your writing. It can take months to hear from an agent, so here is where your mother’s warning comes into play: patience is a virtue. In the mean time, work on your next novel, enhance your education and so on. Just keep writing.

Once you do receive that first exhilarating call, be particular. The wrong agent can be worse than no agent at all.

Best of luck with your agent search and know I wish for you only best-sellers.

C. Patrick Schulze

Author of the emerging novel, “Born to be Brothers.”

The Keys to Effective Dialogue in Novels

by C. Patrick Schulze

To listen to a podcast of this article, click HERE.

Dialogue is one of the premier aspects of your novel and every word of it should have a reason as to why it exists within your manuscript.

The reasons for dialogue in a fiction are varied, with the major goals listed below. 

1.  Provide backstory 
2.  Reveal a character’s personality, internal conflicts or mental state 
3.  Establish the tone or mood of a particular point in your story 
4.  Provide for character motivation 
5.  Build reader empathy 
6.  Build or expand on conflict 
7.  Move the plot forward 
8.  Increase or decrease the pace of your novel 
9.  Tweak the reader’s memory of past events within the novel 
10. Foreshadow Event yet to happen

If your dialogue does not perform one or more of the above functions, you can most likely delete it from your manuscript. A good test is to read the scene without the questionable dialogue and see if your story, or any critical plot points, are affected. If they are not, cut the dialogue.

Here are some tips for creating better dialogue.

Punctuation Counts

I hate to say this, but punctuation is key to effective dialogue. If you do not follow grammatical rules, your dialogue may not read as intended.

A quick example:

            “Maggie said No I will not go with you.”

In this case, it’s difficult to understand if Maggie said the words or if someone else said Maggie said them. This distinction may have quite the effect on your story. As written, it holds little or no tension, whereas in the corrected sentence below, it implies danger and a more exciting plot.

            Maggie said, “No! I will not go with you.”

For more on dialogue punctuation, read THIS blog post.

Dialogue is Different

Dialogue happens when a character speaks, of course, but the secret is to not write so your characters speak the way people do. The secret is to write so it sounds like people speaking. It’s a tricky thing to do, but an essential aspect of writing effective dialogue.

You’ll find people speak in clipped sentences peppered with, “um’s” and “ah’s” and the like. You’ll also find they speak in incomplete sentences, incomprehensible grunts and all sorts of other communication you cannot use in your manuscript. Further, and this is fact, ninety-five percent of the time people don’t answer the question asked. (Yeah, that’s true.) If you were to write as people speak, your reader would get bored at once and put down your book. Worse, they’d not recommend it to others.

So, how do you interpret speech to read as effective dialogue? The secret to translate natural linguistics into dialogue is, cut all the dull parts. (I think it was Alfred Hitchcock who first penned that phrase.) If you study the way people speak, you’ll learn the dull parts are most of what they say. Once you’ve identified and eliminated all the inconsequential words, which is most of any actual discussion, you’ll be left with the meat. And the meat is all that goes into your novel.

Here’s an example of how a real conversation might sound and how it could be altered to read as effective novel dialogue:

John said, “What did you do today?”

Mary answered, “Uh, nothing really. I went to the store, bought a pair of black slacks. What did you do?”

“Not much.”

“Oh, by the way, did you know I ran into Sara while I was shopping?”

“Sara!” John was surprised to hear her name.

When you read this exchange, you’ll notice the tension rose when Mary mentioned Sara’s name. In that case, Sara is the turning point to this exchange and the only part of this conversation necessary for novel dialogue.

If you compare their conversation with the purposes of dialogue listed above, you’ll see much of this exchange need not be included in your novel. If you eliminate the “dull parts” the result would cut fifty-one words to twenty-one and might read as follows:

John said, “What did you do today?”

Mary answered, “I ran into Sara.”

“Sara!” John was surprised to hear her name.

Compare this second exchange to our ten reasons to include dialogue in your novel and you’ll find it adheres to seven of the ten rationale on the list.  Can you identify the seven it does match? If so, you’re well on your way to understand the use of dialogue in novels.

Once you’ve learned how to write effective dialogue, you’ll see there is a secret in how it relates to your plot. As with the mention of Sara, turning points are often found within your dialogue. That is, things don’t often just happen to characters, characters tell each other what transpires or is about to transpire.

A “rule” found within the craft of writing says dialogue should comprise as much as fifty percent of your book, specifically your word count. Now we all know there are no rules in writing, but the idea does offer an indication of how powerful and meaningful dialogue is to your novel. Therefore, it is one of aspects to the craft of writing you should spend a great deal of your time to study and learn.

I hope you know by now I wish you only best-sellers.

C. Patrick Schulze

Author of the emerging novel, “Born to be Brothers.”

How to Write Your Novel’s 1st Chapter

by C. Patrick Schulze

To listen to a podcast of this article, click HERE.

We all know the first chapter of your book is the most critical in the novel. We also know within this initial chapter, the first paragraph is of utmost importance. And of your first paragraph, the first sentence is primary above all. Why is this, and if these things in your novel carry so much weight, how does an author insure he gets it right?

They “why” is simple. Book sales.

Have you ever seen someone in a store pull out a book, flip it open, read for a moment then set it back on the shelf? Truth be told, they do that much more often than not. So, how does an author get the buyer to say, “yes?” Of course your cover, your title and your blurbs all have power to help form the buyer’s decision, yet despite all these, before they buy they’ll read that first paragraph or two.

The worst part of this? They offer you three, maybe four seconds to capture their attention. That’s it. You’ve got mere seconds to convince them to pay you a royalty. And that is why you’ve got to grab them right away. It’s all about the sale, my friends.

So, once they flip open your novel, how is it you capture their curiosity?

One tool to consider is Point of View, or POV as it’s known. If you’re new to the craft of writing, give serious consideration to third-person point of view. You might contemplate this even if you’re not so new to the craft of writing. Third-person POV, where the author acts as narrator, can be considered a default Point of View, if you will. It’s a powerful Point of View and offers the writer much more versatility with his words. It’s easiest to write and most familiar to your reader.

Another tip is to get to setting right away. This creates that first important word picture and immerses the reader in your story at once. You need not get too descriptive, for this can bog down the action, but give them a fact or two to ground them in time and place. For example, in my current manuscript, “Born to be Brothers,” right away the reader sees a wiry man as he reins in his plow mule. Can you see how the mule and plow give you a hint of setting? The secret with this is to make the setting active. That is, have your character perform some action in relation to the setting.

You also might wish to employ some startling action in the first sentence or two. Give them a reason to raise an eyebrow as they peruse your first page. Be sure not to give them the entire picture all at once or their curiosity won’t compel them to take your novel home.

Another possibility is to open with a puzzle of sorts. You might have your hero look over something he doesn’t understand. Of course, the “something” must be integral to the storyline, but if you do this well, it may raise a question in the reader’s mind and encourage him to learn more.

You might attempt to create that perfect twist of words that captures their imagination. “It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.” It’s tough to do, but quite effective.

You might introduce the reader to an intriguing character in context or perspective. Is he an outsider, an outlaw or an odd duck? Again, this just might spark the reader’s imagination.

Another potential opening could include a microcosm of your entire story. If you’re writing about a murder, begin with a murder. If  your story revolves around a young girls fantasies, begin with a fantasy. This type of opening can bring your reader into focus fast.

You can also attempt to fascinate or intrigue the reader with an interesting character. Imagine an opening sentence that shows a female detective thrashing an ex-con. Might your reader want to know more about her? If you use this tactic, focus on the character’s emotional state during the scene and not their physical description. For more on how to create effective characters, consider THIS blog article.

Maybe you could introduce your intriguing character in context. Identify their personality. Is he an outsider, an outlaw or an odd duck? Again, the secret here is to focus on the emotional aspects of your character.

One way to draw a reader into your novel is to establish a powerful mood. Even Snoopy of “Peanuts” fame understood this. He always stated his stories with, “It was a dark and stormy night.” Don’t use that line, but you get the idea. An evocative atmosphere from the very beginning may just work for you, if fits your story.

Now I have a question for you. What remarkable openings have your written or read that might work for the readers of this blog?

As always, you know I wish  you only best-sellers.

C. Patrick Schulze

Author of the emerging novel, “Born to be Brothers.”

More Tips on Imagery in Your Novel

by C. Patrick Schulze

To listen to a podcast of this article, click HERE.

Imagery, those pictures you paint in your novel, serves as a powerful tool to transport your readers to another place and time. It makes your novel more believable to your readers and places them inside the world you’ve created with your words. Without imagery, you lose much of the strength to your words and even more of the potential power within your novel. Effective imagery is as important to the novel writer as any character. 
 
Imagine the story of Snow White with seven tall men in place of the dwarfs. It loses so much of its appeal, doesn’t it? Snow White and the Seven Giants? Ah, it’s just not the same. This simple example should give you an impression of how important effective imagery is to your novel.

Now that we understand why we use imagery, let’s look at some more tips on how to use it. (You can find more information about imagery in THIS article.)

Successful authors often use setting to convey imagery. Has a rainy day ever affected your mood? I’m sure it has and it probably made you tired or melancholy. My question to you is why didn’t it make you feel like dancing. After all, there’s ever a song about dancing in the rain. My point, of course, is setting is a great tool to utilize to enhance your story. Your sentence might go something like this: “The over-bright sun blinded him in the same manner the many choices he faced hid the best decision from him.”

Choose an order by which you describe something. For example, describe something or someplace from top to bottom and left to right. Use any order you wish, but this systematic portrayal gives your readers a more logical, thus more grounded, way to see the picture you paint with your words.

When you reach a point in your novel where your story requires imagery, close your eyes and imagine what it is you wish to tell your readers. Pay attention to the details. Then, scribble quick notes as to the five senses you’d use to create the mood, the feeling, the place or object about which you wish to write.

Use similes and metaphors to draw your imagery in the minds of your novel’s readers. (Simile is a comparison of things using “like” or “as” whereas a metaphor makes a comparison without either of these words.) An example? “Her skin felt as smooth as polished marble.”

Personification is a useful tool when you create imagery in your novel. That is, give human-like qualities to something nonhuman. Here’s an example. “The breeze whispered through the woods.”

One of the best ways to employ imagery is to surprise your reader. Use contrast in a way they’d never expect. Is her skin the lustrous hue of alabaster? Why not the skin of shaved cat, pasty, thin? Not all of your imagery need be of the beautiful. In fact, readers will often appreciate just the opposite. In my second novel, the character all my female readers liked the most by a wide margin was the tall, chiseled hunk who fell for the dumpy farmer’s daughter. Without variation, they said they liked him for his love of the unattractive woman, not his good looks. Contrast, especially if unexpected, can have a dramatic effect on your story and your novel.

This brings us to the ugly images you should consider. When you closed your eyes in our earlier example, did something you see appear unappealing? Then write it that way in some way. As with the life we all know, not all images are beautiful. Much in life is in fact, ugly, disturbing, or even disgusting. As long as your imagery is authentic, it will work with your readers. In fact, it is when your imagery becomes improbable that your reader puts down your novel.

I offer three cautions as to imagery in your novel. As with everywhere in the craft of writing, clichés are unwelcome. Phrases such as “tough as nails” or “dark as night” no longer spur the imagination of your readers. Be creative. Also, use care not to overindulge your imagery. If your readers knows the number of teeth missing from his comb, you’ve probably said too much and the result is often the loss of action and pace within your story. Finally, not every scene requires extensive imagery. Like every other aspect of your novel, imagery must be integral to the story for inclusion.

Now I ask you. What tips might you wish to pass along to the readers of this blog as to how you create imagery in your novels?

As always, I wish you best-sellers.

C. Patrick Schulze

Author of the emerging novel, “Born to be Brothers.”